The Only Way
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: She recieves a letter that will break her heart...


**AUTHORS NOTE: Boredom has taken over. How have we not run out of ideas yet? This is inspired by one of my favourite films EVER and probably one of the biggest soundtrack songs :) I also know that Robbie is not this cruel but I just wanted to write it because it's something different. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters that are cool. That's right. I don't own any of them. **

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Dear Jackie,

I have had to leave you alone without any questions or answers and I know you'll have many that you wish to ask me but I can also promise you that you will never find me to ask them or learn your answers and for that I am sorry but I wanted to explain this to you the best way I could. After a lot of thought and collaboration I decided that in a letter would be the best way because face-to-face would give me a chance to back out and besides, you're so much more truthful in a letter. Don't you think?

We've been an item for just under a year now and I can tell you that the day you finally gave into my seductions was the happiest day of my life. I can still remember you lying underneath me, your warm breath tickling my chest as you reached up to press a kiss against my heart. You didn't even need to say the three words out loud because I knew they were there. I knew that and you knew it too. What we share between us is much more than sexual passion. What we have is what the rest of the universe searches for. You're my soulmate and I would like to think that I am yours even though I am doing this to you now.

You never thought you'd find the day when something would defeat me, aye? Well something has. A small tiny cell that has grew and grew until it has infected my whole body and is completely inoperable. That's right. Cancer. You read about it all the time now and they say statistically that everyone knows at least one person close to them who has lost the battle. Well now the closest person to me has lost the battle. Me.

I'm sorry I never told you but it was something I struggled through on my own and I tried my best to deny it. The belief being that the more you deny it, the more likely it is to just vanish off the face of the earth. That plan failed. I got treatment. That was what made ill a lot recently. The nausea was nothing compared to the way I felt before I was diagnosed though.

The pounding headaches, the fear that I could fit or pass out at the wheel while driving you about for work and not one of you would know what was wrong with me. I suppose it was wrong to keep it away from all three of you because together you're my family. Everything I could ever ask for in the world. I don't know what I'd do without any of you.

If I was to stay, I would suck up all your life. You'd want to nurse me into my dawning hours and I couldn't permit that. I'd be in your way of moving on but I want you to know that I will always think of you and as I know the end is getting nearer I will think about you every single step and realise that I will always love you and I should have made my move much sooner.

I'm not going to say that it was the cancer that made me ask you out but it sure as hell was a good kick up the arse. Could you imagine how much more chasing about we would have done if I hadn't found the balls to go over that afternoon and just simply said, "Jackie, I love you and I think you love me." I can actually still remember your shocked face whenever I close my eyes and then when you started to smile as if trying to cover it up. That was when I kissed you, my hands plunging into your hair so that I could keep your lips prisoners underneath mine because I knew you were trying to fight what was happening because that's you all over. You're a fighter and you don't like people knowing when you feel vulnerable. I could always see through that exterior Jackie and I thank you for letting me in.

As we both move on, I want you to know that I do wish you all the best that the world has to offer you. I want you to be happy and make beautiful memories. I want you to find love and allow someone to take care of you the way that I would have taken care of you. I understand that we'll always have our sweet memories. I'll cherish each one as I lie thinking of you when the end nears. I know you'll probably hate me after reading this letter for not sharing with you but that's not the way I wanted it to end. I don't want your last memory of me to be of some pathetic frail man that clutched onto your hand as I died on an infirmary bed. I wouldn't allow it and neither would my pride.

I want you to know that if I hadn't been ill, I'd have wanted your hand in marriage. I'd have done even more chasing until you said yes. I would have insisted that it was big and white even though you've been married before. I would want to whisk you away somewhere hot for our honeymoon just so that I could see you in a hot, skimpy bikini and know that all the men that were staring at you with lust in their eyes would know that I was the one taking you home. My name was the one you whimpered at night, my name was the one that followed those three magical words. However enough of the wishful dreaming, I'm going to have to go before any more of my ink runs.

I wish you goodbye, Jacks, and I ask for you not to cry because I am not worth a single one of your tears. I'm a coward that runs when things get hard.

I will always love you,

Robbie


End file.
